Hobnobbing

Idly leafing through the Monster Manual and I find myself looking at the entry for Hobgoblins. I wouldn’t normally bother after five editions of largely the same old lore, but I’ve been looking for something a bit martial for my baddies in an upcoming con game. I’m only going to nick the stat blocks, but I did like the illustration, and the succinct text got me wondering.

I think I could write a scenario like this: you play a squad of Hobgoblins. You’re part of a Horde that is laying siege to somewhere (probably a city full of goodies, you know, adventurers and the like). You’re the crew of a siege tower. The adventure is event based, and it’s all about the build up to the final assault on the city walls.

The key here is not to get into the battle as such, it’s more about the life of the soldier in the trenches, in the hours before he inevitably gets cleaved like the low level humanoid he is.

I’d play up the military stuff, with a nod to Blackadder Goes Forth. Not so much the humour, but let’s face it, goblins are likely to be present and they’re always a catalyst to cheap laughs. More the pointless bureaucracy, and the futile orders. Events off the top of my head include:

Rivalry with the ballista crew
Inspection from the top Warlord
Ration hunting run
Prisoner of War guard duty
Supervising goblin sappers digging latrines
Sabotage, in either direction
Incoming!
Paladins sally forth
Secure that Bugbear!
Organised chanting
The priesthood show up
Shove the siege tower forward
Stabbed in the back (field promotion)
Reclaim that fallen body (and its loot)
Raise the banners
Over the top

Now, flesh out half a dozen PCs, a similar number of NPCs, scribble out a battle line, and note down a few rules, and you’ve got yourself an adventure. Hmmm.